Comfort & Compassion Ministry

Our Colorful World

Karol Ladd — Fri, 18 May 2012 14:06:37 +0000

This week we went to the arboretum in Dallas for a concert and saw breath-taking displays of color! The Dallas Arboretum has the wonderful privilege of hosting an exhibit by the world famous artist Dale Chihuly. He has created and delicately placed his beautiful and colorful glass works of art in and amongst the flowers and plants in the gardens. It is a wonderful sight to behold, especially at night when the glass is lit in such a way that it seems to glow.

As I looked at Chihuly’s unique and original style, I couldn’t help but reflect on the fact that God has created us and designed us each with unique and different gifts and talents. What makes this world beautiful and colorful is the diverse gifts and talents we have. Let us celebrate the beauty God has given each of us and how we each have various functions and purposes in the world. We don’t need to try to be like everyone else. Let us be thankful for the uniqueness of each individual.

Just as the Chihuly exhibit is a celebration of style and color, so let us celebrate the different gifts and talents God has given us to use for His glory. Let your light shine brightly in this world, so that others are drawn to our wonderful and glorious Lord.

A Letter to My Daughter: What I Want You to See in the Mirror

Kristen Strong — Thu, 17 May 2012 15:39:09 +0000

Dear Faith,

Today the last of the single digits find you: Happy 9th birthday, Faith.

You know I usually spend the weeks leading up to your birthday making jokes about skipping it, how you will not turn the next number. No way no how. You may or may not know I haven’t always relished you growing up.

But this year changed all that. This year, I am not mourning your birthday.

I still marvel at how the days pass slowly but the years fly by. Every mama knows all about that. But if this last year has taught me anything, it’s that nothing’s gained from too much looking over my shoulder towards your younger years. I am soaking up all the birthday fun of nine right alongside you. I am standing on Pike’s Peak and shouting for the world, “My girl is nine today!” I am looking at you in the mirror today, you nine year old rock star. And when you look in the mirror, I hope you see a thing or two.

You’re a work of art. Oh, the world will do it’s best to convince you you’re not beautiful or worthy. It will try to sell you false hopes bottled up in the flavor of the day. Here’s where I give you permission to roll your eyes at every lie it offers. Do you want to know you’re beautiful? Then read beautiful Scripture. Scripture like this will help you see your value not overly or underly, but reality.

You’re capable. You are strong enough to handle anything God asks of you. This year gave you a crash course in this lesson, didn’t it? You know full well that doors closed means other, just-right-for-you doors will be opened. Don’t assume you aren’t cut out to do something. Don’t write something off because at first glance it looks impossible. Some ideas and dreams have a warming up period. Remember what Holley says? You’re already amazing. Don’t listen to the enemy’s voice that says you aren’t enough. That’s a big fat lie. Truth is, the combination of your personality and abilities scare him.

You’re loved. Every single day, you’re loved. There’s nothing you could do that would cancel this. Let the love of your daddy, mama, brothers, relatives and friends seep into your deepest parts. Know you are a vital link in a family that wants and cherishes you more than you’ll ever know.

You’re imperfect. You have faults just like the rest of us. Acknowledge them but don’t focus on them. Acknowledge them and acknowledge your Savior who is what you aren’t. Jesus does not want or expect perfection, so neither should you.

You’re intelligent. We all are in one area or another, and you’re no exception. Convention says there are nine multiple intelligences. But our God is one of infinite creativity and intelligences, and He plants all kinds of strengths in His children. Don’t let your struggles tell you you’re not smart. Let your strengths confirm otherwise. And girl, you have yourself countless strengths. Remember, God is not One of waste. If He created you, then you’re needed, necessary, and gifted.

You’re wanted. You fit in right at home, darling. If our family was a sundae, you would forever be the cherry on top. You’ll always have a home that welcomes you with wide open arms.

You’re His. You know I often ask you, “Whose child are you?” and you answer, “God’s.” I hope you always believe this. He is crazy about you, Faith. You are His treasured possession and He gives you the best of the best everyday. Believe Him.

I love you,

Mama

When You Want Others to Really Like You

Kristen Strong — Tue, 15 May 2012 14:19:03 +0000

“I’m learning to care less about what people think and more about people, period.” Emily P. Freeman

My man is technically an engineer in the United States Air Force, although for this assignment he teaches at the United States Air Force Academy. He also has a PhD in something I can’t really pronounce. And just like that, y’all probably make assumptions about him. Because that’s just our nature. When you mix our nature with stereotypes about different occupations and the personalities of those doing them, you make assumptions. While you might guess he is a tech wizard, you might be surprised he likes tinkering on old cars and has a “mad scientist” homebrew station in our basement. He’s just as comfortable wearing a cowboy hat as a military uniform, although not at the same time. Obviously.

Just like the rest of us, he has layers people see and don’t see, some they expect and some they don’t. But without fail, he lives the mantra, “What you see is what you get.” He is the real deal in every sense. For me, it sometimes feels appealing to keep a few of my own layers hidden or invent new ones that aren’t really me if I think they will make you like me more. Emily refers to it as being an opinion manager, and yes, I dearly love the idea of bossin’ your opinion of me. I’d love to say I’ve licked this thing, that I’m mature and secure enough not to care if you don’t care for me. But sometimes I care very much. I want you to like me, and heaven forbid you turn out to be someone like Mr. Darcy who stated, “My good opinion once lost, is lost forever.” Oh the effort I could expend on you!

So while I own this, I also know I don’t have the energy to bend over backwards for people’s opinions. It’s exhausting, and frankly it doesn’t work anyway. Opinions are like shadows, always changing depending on the angle of the sun and where the person stands. So while I haven’t licked this people pleasing thing, I am learning to turn my face from those hopscotching shadows and towards the constant Son. When I do this, I find His light reflects from me to others, and I love better.

I’m called to love people whether or not they are all that lovely to me. Really, I’m called to especially love those who aren’t so loving in return. Remembering this helps me focus on what I’m created to do: Focus on people’s hearts, not their opinions. My faith can then rest in the good opinion of my Father, the One who has my heart. Besides, He’s much easier to please anyway.

What We All Need in Life {and Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!}

Kristen Strong — Fri, 11 May 2012 16:00:21 +0000

I grew up with comfortable familiarity wrapped around me like wide-blue skies around my Oklahoma prairies. And because I grew up in the same town and literally had family for neighbors, not once did I work to meet people or make friends. So, when my Air Force man put a ring on my finger and moved me to the moon {aka Ohio}, I had myself quite the adjustment period. And quite the cry fest. Or fifty.

As a freshly minted Air Force wife, my husband’s Aunt Hetty handed me encouragement in words spoken and on paper. Not only did she know what it was like to be a military wife, but she knew what it was like to leave familiar surroundings. After all, she moved from her native Holland to follow her Air Force love to another country altogether.

Aunt Hetty must have known this small town girl could use some help in the role as military wife. And Lord have mercy, was she ever right. I was clueless about everything. I assumed friends would fall from the sky {they didn’t} and no one gave me a head’s up in that pre-9/11 era my husband would frequently travel {he did}. On one particularly lonely evening, I dug out a card from Aunt Hetty, and her words gave me direction I needed:

“The best thing you can do for yourself is get out and about. Don’t wait for friends to come to you. Go find them.”

I’ve found that to be easier said than done through the years, but more often than not Aunt Hetty’s advice has been right on the money. If I want near and dear relationships, I need to give some here and now effort. The only way to guarantee never making friends is never trying.

Whether you are a military wife or not, do you have an Aunt Hetty in your life? Someone who has “been there done that” and lived to tell? Lives still today to encourage you? Thankfully, the Lord has brought me many other military wife encouragers, and they are my family away from family. On this Military Spouse Appreciation Day, I salute them. And you. You there, the one whose life drips with responsibilities. You do your best to balance children with dinner with dishes with checkbooks all while supporting your marriage and spouse through countless crazy seasons. You may drop a ball or two or more, but you know perfection isn’t the goal, only perseverance in the process. What you do is seen and matters so much.

Thank you.

If you’ve landed here from Household 6 Diva or Riding the Roller Coaster, welcome! I’m a sixteen-years-and-counting Air Force wife and twelve-years-and-counting mama to three darling young’uns. Why do I ‘Chase Blue Skies’? Because when I do, I find the Creator in everything come rain or shine. And *that* gives fresh air. I write largely of marriage and parenting relationships, the military lifestyle, and how faith weaves through everything . I’ve also written a lot about friendship, something we military wives get a fast-track education in.

You can read more about messy ol’ me here as well as other words I write here.

I hope you will stay a while and discover that while our military lifestyle brings changing landscape, the fresh air hope found in looking up stays the same. Enjoy the wide open spaces a bit with me? I can tell I already like you!

What My Mama and Every Mama Deserves to Hear

Kristen Strong — Wed, 09 May 2012 14:16:13 +0000

Daddy often said I could never be a lawyer. For all my back talkin’, I’d be held in contempt of court.

You’d just nod your head in agreement, maybe let out an “Mmmm hmmm” and for good reason. I had myself a mile wide sassy streak, and I liked to have the last word. And that must have driven you to your knees a hundred times and then some, praying for wisdom on how to show grace to a girl with a wild tongue and a flare for dramatics.

Much later, when the hard contractions set in before your twin grandsons made their entrance into the world, I remember apologizing for every sassy thing I ever said. And boy, did I mean it.

I also mean to tell you thank you for every gift you ever gave.

Do you remember how I used to get so nervous going to the doctor or the dentist, and you would tell me it’s going to be okay, this too shall pass and then we shall have a ice cream? Or a Sonic treat? You’d rub my back and calm me down and you were always right. I made it through and there were always cherry limeades or Braum’s ice cream.

Do you remember how I’d ask one thousand and one questions during every St. Louis Cardinals game or Mandrell Sisters episode? How I wanted to know why baseball games had nine innings or who made the snazzy matchy outfits Barbara, Louise, and Irlene wore? You must have fought the urge to just throw me in bed and watch in peace.

Do you remember that time I didn’t make all-state orchestra? I called home from Oklahoma City, and I was pretty sure my life was over. You assured me my life would indeed go on just fine, and that my worth was not wrapped up in one little audition.

Do you remember how you stayed with David and I when the twins were born? How you cooked food, rocked babies, and generally encouraged us as we fumbled all whiplashed as parents to two babies? You didn’t criticize our choices. You said I was the most laid-back mama of newborns you’d ever seen, and this meant so much because I knew my up-tight nature all too well and just wanted to relax.

Do you remember that week when I couldn’t get off from school and David couldn’t get off from work, and you dropped everything and flew a thousand miles from Oklahoma to Ohio to be Grandma-on-duty?

And then when Faith had her surgery, do you remember reminding me of all the good things to be thankful for during the entire ordeal? How the light at the end of the tunnel would come? I clung to that somethin’ fierce.

I remember it all and more, how you sacrificed your time, your heart, and probably your tears to get me through the next doctor’s visit, music audition, and teenaged drama-laced crisis. Time and again, you remind me tunnels do end in light and “this too shall pass.” Somewhere during those days tucked inside the years of balancing faithful church attendance with letting me run wild in prairie fields with reigning in my fierce tongue, you taught me when I chase Blue Skies, the dark never wins.

Thank you for that, Mama. You are one in a million because He chose you to be mine. I love you!

Happily linking up at Ann’s today! Ann joins us in honoring our mamas by giving to the Child Survival Program in Haiti. So when we love on our moms, moms in Haiti will feel the love, too! And on that note, have you seen what glorious, beautiful things are happening in Tanzania right now thanks in part to the Compassion bloggers and sponsors like you?

Top photo: Daddy, Mama and me in 1975. Ish.

Second photo: Daddy and Mama at the top of the Haleakala volcano on Maui.

God Surprises

Karol Ladd — Mon, 07 May 2012 15:24:58 +0000

Recently, Curt and I flew to Florida for a business conference, and God surprised me with several precious, new friends. One is a speaker, actress, and writer from Brentwood, Tennessee. She recognized me because we are both in a national organization called Christian Women in Media (www.CWIMA.org), and we are randomly Facebook friends as a result. Alice Breuer and I connected immediately, and we spent a great deal of time on the trip visiting about the Lord and all that He is doing in our lives. As sisters in Christ there was a deep connection between us.

The very same evening I meet Alice, I also meet Shannon, a wonderful believer from Tyler, Texas. It only took us a few minutes in conversation to recognize we were both Christians and shared many of the same interests, most importantly an interest in growing in Christ. We bonded immediately, and I felt as though God gave me another heart to heart connection. By the way, when Alice and Shannon met, then they too enjoyed getting to know each other, and we soon became a sisterhood of three.

Another special surprise on this trip was to see my old, childhood friend Billy Glass and his wife Laura. What a joy to reconnect and establish a wonderful, rekindled friendship. Interestingly, I was in the midst of finishing up writing another book on this trip, and I needed one more story to place in the last chapter. As Billy and Laura shared with me about their Downs Syndrome son (Billy Ray) and the blessing he is to so many, I knew this was the story for my book. I was blessed to spend time with Laura, interviewing her about Billy Ray’s story. I even mentioned Laura in my video this week, so click on to my video to see what I learned from her.

I marvel at God’s gracious surprises in life. He brings gifts to us, often in the form of new friends. I watch with anticipation as He continues to guide my path. How has He surprised you lately?

How to Let Go of Mama Guilt :: at (in)courage

Kristen Strong — Mon, 07 May 2012 13:00:47 +0000

I plumb forgot to tell him you never, ever mess with a dog while he’s eating. That is, until it was too late.

And just as I opened my mouth to tell him, the dog we were dogsitting snapped at my just-turned 4 year old son and knocked him down. In the longest few seconds of my life, I snatched him up from under the dog’s teeth and lay him on the counter. I frantically called my husband who thankfully worked within walking distance of our house. He rushed home and took Ethan to the ER while I stayed with his twin brother and infant sister.

Four hours later, David brought him home with stitches on his forehead, cheek, and within 1/4 inch of his right eye. Overall our boy handled stitches well even though he received no anesthesia for the ones near his eye. He slept hard that night; I did not. I spent most of it next to his bed vacillating between crazy praise to God and fiery criticism of myself. Because oh, things could have been so. much. worse. But why oh why hadn’t I thought to relay appropriate behavior near dogs sooner?

And really, I could tell a whole lot of other stories where choices and life circumstances throw one or more of my kids into difficulties. Sometimes I still get caught up in the guilt, crying over regrettable choices and all the coulda, shoulda, wouldas. So this leads me to ask: When things like this happen, how do we move past the guilt? Read more here?

BFF . . . For Real

Niki Carbajal — Sat, 05 May 2012 22:55:00 +0000

Frisco Bible has an amazing couple leading the youth, Kris and Amy Keith. Amy invited me to be a part of a get together for teen girls from my church called "Junk Food and Jesus". It was an opportunity for junior high and high school girls to indulge in some yummy food while listening in on how God is working or has worked in "older" womens' lives.

So here's the first thing . . . I'm now considered an "older" woman. Sigh. Weep. Tears. I never thought it would happen to me. Alas.

And the second thing? I am totally enjoying being around these godly young women! What an encouragement for me as a mother of five children to see our Lord evident in their lives. Parenting along with the Holy Spirit works!

The topic, shared by Heather, was about friendships - the Best Friend Forever kind. She talked about her struggles early on in life in making and keeping a BFF. Her difficulty in friendship continued throughout high school, college, and early adulthood. Friendship after friendship ended much to her disappointment and sadness. She went on to talk about how she came to understand the one True Friend, Jesus, never left her, disappointed her, or rejected her. He is her BFF.

Like Heather, I have suffered some disappointments in friendships. Most of those disappointments were due to my own inflated expectations of others through no fault of their own. Quality time with friends is one of my favorite things. There is nothing better than being silly and talking deep and serious with a like-minded friend. My end of the friendship seemed needier than the other half and would end in my overly-sensitive hurt feelings.

I've also made the mistake of jumping into a friendship with both feet and eyes closed. So wrapped up in the excitement of a new "bestie" that I missed the warning signs of "Unhealthy Road Ahead". I allowed my self-worth, joy, and near existence to be placed on the shoulders of someone who didn't want or need the extra weight of me. Can you see where this is heading? To follow the road analogy, I crashed head first into a barricade of disappointment and reality.

You see, God would not have me place my all-n-all in anyone or anything other than Him. And that is exactly what I had done. He used my choice of friend before Father as an opportunity to gently correct me. The blinders were removed from my eyes and He allowed me to see my friend as human. As fallible. Undeserving of my devotion and worship. It was not an exercise in criticism toward her. It was a command to place my worship at the feet of His throne, to offer only Him the praise of my lips, to seek to please only Him in word, thought, and deed.

My Sweet Lord has been patient and loving over my grieving of the end of the friendship. He has proven o'er and o'er that He is my eternal Best Friend. Hebrews 13:5b says " . . . for He has said, 'I will never leave you and I will never abandon you''. Relationships are given and taken away for many reasons. No matter how many earthly BFFs God has blessed me with, I can be certain of a relationship with Him. Even if my best friend contact list is as dry as the Sahara, I am assured of His desire for an eternal kinship with me. Why else would He give His Son as a sacrifice for my sins so that I may live in His palace where time does not end?

Thank you Lord, for your friendship.

P.S. - More to come on friendships, relational growth, and His gift of friends. I must be a slow learner for His lessons are never ending!

Be blessed,
Niki

Your Weekend to Revisit a Favorite

Kristen Strong — Fri, 04 May 2012 17:29:06 +0000

During that precious time between homework finished and dinner ready, she’s been a blur of blowing hair and peddling feet. Yep, it’s been a big week here, one full of unsuspecting triumphs in the form of resumed bike rides.

So while she’s a blowin’ and a goin’, I take the camera and snap pictures. Old favorites revisited are worth capturing, dontcha think? I have a feeling she’ll be revisiting her best friend bike all weekend long.

Whatever your weekend holds, I pray you have time to revisit a long lost love. Whether it be something you had a forced hiatus from and now have permission to return to or something you forgot about ’til now, may you enjoy it full tilt. Maybe even let your hair blow like crazy in the wind while doing so. Because even the smallest blessings are love notes holding signs of His great love for you. And those are always worth capturing, dontcha think?

Photo: revisiting blooming lilacs ~ a favorite springtime treat.

When You Need Your Heart Put Back Together

Kristen Strong — Thu, 03 May 2012 12:03:29 +0000

They say time heals all wounds, but I don’t believe it.

Our Faith walked around with a broken neck for six years, something we were blind to until a gymnastics fall brought it to light. I still cry when I think of all the ways God’s hands protected her spinal cord when her broken vertebrae did not. How God brought us an amazing pediatric neurosurgeon {in our very own town!} who worked His miracles on her neck. And today, the vertebrae are fully fused and healed. She can do more activities than we thought possible, including riding her bike.

But sometimes, broken bones fuse faster than broken hearts.

When she’s told gymnastics is a thing of the past, those broken heart tears flow through fall, winter and spring. They last far longer than tears from post-op pain. Because when we have to give up something we wholeheartedly love, it takes that much more time for our hearts to become whole again. But time isn’t all it takes.

During surgery, screws are placed on the right and left of vertebrae C1 and C2. But these alone don’t make for a successful fusion. So Dr. Grabb takes bone from her ribs and places that bone between the two vertebrae, and that bone causes vertebrae to fuse together. It’s that rib bone that binds the broken.

To heal the broken heart? It takes something to fuse the torn fragments, too. So when I wipe her tears, I place the healing Word into her heart. And ever so slowly, I see the broken pieces fuse right around the Word making her heart whole again. I pray and pray and pray some more, and I see and feel Him bind up her wounds.

Time itself does not heal wounds. Time with the Healer does.

Saturday, Faith helps me clean up a few things from the (in)RL tea. I put away extra goody bags and stack leftover cards when I hear her gasp,

“Mama! Can I have that card? The one you just had with the door open on the front!? I first saw it earlier today, and I know it’s meant for me!”

I shuffle through the stack and pull one out.

“Oh, is this the one you meant?” I ask, holding it up.

She beams. “Yes! Oh yes, this is it! See, Mama?” She looks up at me all wide-eyed and smiling, and then she reads the whole thing:

“Even if it seems some doors are closing…

…you haven’t missed a thing -

God is going to open up the right one just for you.”

“See?” She waves it in the air. “See? I told you it was meant for me!”

I can hardly form words. “Yes, it is,” I whisper.

That card~just one more way He binds the broken and heals her heart. Just one more way He shows love meant just for her…